Diatribe

by Dharma's Initiative

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released March 18, 2017

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Dharma's Initiative Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Harrisburg, PA

"To rip off Edgar Allen Poe I'll quoth your roommate, 'Nevermore.'"

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Track Name: The Beach
Crying wolf got old and so did being alone at night. But, if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this right. Warmer weather's not always a vacation. Sometimes, its the end of the world. Either way, you should know that I still prefer the mountains to the beach. You're not the only one who wishes we could hate each other. Bury those memories a little deeper; hope they reach the molten core where tectonic forces can melt and distort them, helping me misremember your love as a bitter chore. [Chorus]. [Second chorus]. I know you feel the same: concurrent love and disdain. I won't glorify or romanticize that I see you when I close my eyes and I'll probably see you for the rest of my life. If you see me too, make sure to wave and say "hi." Either way, you should know that I still prefer the mountains to the beach. It's too hot. And you're just out of reach.
Track Name: France's Farmers Will Have Their Revenge
She wants to live in France for some time. I say she's just obsessed with wine. She wants to be offended by that quip, so I'll just leave the room. I'd like to jump off of this ship into the cold blue Atlantic. But I'm afraid of drowning or finding out I'm not who they think I am. Do you still think we can solve this over drinks? It's happy hour and I'd like to save a couple bucks if I can. Get me a pen. I'll write you a love letter on the back of my hand. I'll try to be what you need: a gun, a pill, or a seed, because I know you would do anything for me. She says she's moving out to France where she'll eat cheese, drink wine, and dance. You can do that hear, my dear. I'm afraid that you're chasing something you can't find at the cost of something you left behind. Do you have the time for a bottle of wine? The sun is setting and I'd like to start the night off right if I can. Get me a pen. I'll write you a love letter on the back of my hand. I'll try to be what you need: a gun, a pill, or a seed, because I know you would do anything for me. Don't you think that it's so passé to say all the things that your heart wants to say? I miss being friends. I miss hanging around. I miss having conversations without making a sound.
Track Name: What Am I Doing?
I read somewhere that I should stop agreeing to shit I don't want to do. I tell myself that I do all of this shit for you. I know you think if you confide in me that I should want to confide in you, too. What am I doing? Am I just waiting for you? Maybe I just need something more to do. It feels like a concession to admit all the things I don't want to confess. It's too dark to cooperate so if you're trying to get me to you're wasting your breath. I will not close my eyes so you can cut me up again. What am I doing? Am I just waiting for you? Maybe I just need something more to do. If I confide in you, you will finally see the person I've tried so hard to keep you from seeing in me.
Track Name: It Feels Good to be Alive
The sun went down some time ago. Now it's getting colder than I'd want to be outside without a coat. I know you want to know me, too. But I don't even know me. I'm a basket in a three-piece suit. It's like I'm scared for the time and I'm paralyzed. God damn, it feels good to be alive. Just need it sometimes to remind me that, god damn, it feels good to be alive when the storm clouds clear and still here. It's cold as fuck now. I'm not well dressed. The fire went out an hour ago. It was bored of hearing me talk. I get up and start to walk. I'll make a B-line for your bed where I'll lie awake all night trying to slow the stampede of thoughts in my head. It's like I'm scared for the time and I'm paralyzed. God damn, it feels good to be alive. Just need it sometimes to remind me that, god damn, it feels good to be alive when the storm clouds clear and still here. Okay, please close the shutters. I'm storming off again, but I'll be fine once I descend. I just need the night to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and why I could never let you help. It always feels like I'm scared for the time and I'm paralyzed. God damn, it feels good to be alive. Just need it sometimes to remind me that, god damn, it feels good to be alive when the storm clouds clear and still here.
Track Name: Something I Can Stare At
You're not big on plans or visits. It's no wonder you struggle to maintain relationships. You and I are only separated by lightning bugs and honeysuckle. I'd tell you to play Vera Lynn at my funeral but I'm afraid you forget to call off of work or have something better to do. You and I are only separated by lightning bugs and honeysuckle. You and I are only separated by rolling hills and back-lit memories. Gather the broken pieces of You and I. Rip apart the fabric of my life. Recycle scraps to make a beautiful mural; something that I can stare at to remind myself that sometimes things turn out alright. You and I are only separated by lightning bugs and honeysuckle. You and I are only separated by rolling hills and back-lit memories.